


No Band is an Island

by no_need_to_be_alone



Category: The Beatles (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe--We Bought A Zoo (Island), Gen, a study in psychology architechture and bad business practices, the beatles were hugely influential but very stupid
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:02:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23752795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/no_need_to_be_alone/pseuds/no_need_to_be_alone
Summary: "We rented a boat and sailed it up and down the coast from Athens, looking at islands. Somebody had said we should invest some money, so we thought: ‘Well, let’s buy an island. We’ll just go there and drop out." -George HarrisonIn 1964 and 1967, the Beatles made plans to buy a Greek island as a tax dodge and escape from the world. Both plans fell out, but what would happen if those dreams were given just a little push? And how long will it take before John's manic desire to make a sovereign nation are finally quashed?A crack idea taken seriously, which is most of my writing these days.
Relationships: John Lennon & Paul McCartney & George Harrison & Ringo Starr, the usual wives/girlfriends
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	1. Prologue

August, 1964

There was a knock on Ringo and John’s hotel room door. “Oi! You lot in here?”

“Who is it?” John sang, jumping his voice up to a high falsetto.

“Jus’ me,” Paul’s voice replied. Without welcome, he opened the door. His suit jacket and boots were quickly removed and thrown into a corner where the other three Beatles had done the same.

“Where’ve you been?” George asked. “Light?”

Paul grunted, put a cig in his mouth, and leaned over, letting George light it before letting out a smoky huff. “Downstairs, chatting with those TV folks mainly. We’ve been pulling in big telly numbers, apparently.”

“You don’t say?” John feigned shock. “You’ve been gone for half an hour, though. Sounded like you were wrapping up when we’d left. Take that long to say your sweet goodbyes?”

“It was actually Bri who kept me. He talk to you about this island business yet, lads?” Paul sat on the end of Ringo’s bed. And Ringo’s feet.

“Make yourself at home, Mac,” Ringo muttered, pulling his knees to his chest. “And no. He planning on extending this America tour _another_ month by sending us out to the Canaries?”

“We’re not traveling to an island. We’d be buying one.”

A moment of stunned silence was broken by John. 

“Christ, the man’s lost his mind,” John said, amazed. “We finally broke him, fellas. The fame’s gone to his head!”

“The hell’d we get a bleedin’ island for?” 

“Less taxes or something of the sort, that’s all I know.”

“Well, it’s too complicated for the one A-level of the band, I’m brimming with confidence.”

Paul leaned over and smacked John’s arm. “Fuck off. I mean, he’s got a point. Maybe we should do it before they vote in some ‘famous musician’s’ tax and we’re poorer off than when we were in Hamburg.”

“And what do we do with an island?”

“I’d assume we live on it, Lennon,” George said, rolling his eyes. “Would be nice for privacy, even if we’d be literally marooned together.”

“We could just let someone else decide all that for us,” Paul suggested. “Not like any of us know a lick about finances, anyways.”

Ringo smirked. “I dunno, it’d be typical for us to buy an island, only for us to live in a dog’s dinner shack.” 

The boys snickered, the rush of fame still dancing in their eyes even in the dead of night.

“We’d be fucking useless.”

Paul put a hand on his shoulder. “Well, boys. If I _did_ have to spend my life on a deserted island, you’d be at the top of my list.”

“Who’d be the first to be eaten?” The four of them laughed.

“I think it’d be John, eh? More of him to go around.”

“You know it and you love it, sweet thang.”


	2. Help Needed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A very lucky (or unlucky) meeting takes place.

**June 1967, London**

“Pitcher? William Pitcher?”

“Yes?”

“Mr. Aspinall will see you now,” the secretary said. 

The man stood up, straightening his shirt. “Alright. Thank you, love.”

The girl at the desk smiled brightly and gave him a very intent look. William returned the gesture with a cordial tip of the head. Whether he returned her heated gaze was unknown, as his eyes were covered by hexagonal sunglasses.

He knocked on the office door, and after a muffled “come in”, he pushed it open.

“Hello, William. Have a seat.” The man behind the desk was a bit shorter than William wearing a densely patterned shirt, and sporting a mustache that was split down the middle. “I’m glad you were able to make today’s meeting. To be honest, your submission was one of a few that warranted an interview.”

“It’s no problem at all, Sir,” William said, straightening his posture and intentionally keeping his shoulders down. “My duties at the theatre actually wrapped up a week ago, so you caught me at a good time.”

“Do you have a permanent contract with your theatre?”

William perked up internally. Discussion of availability was a good sign, if the other man was sincere about his submission being good. Luckily, the truth gave the impression of limited time to get a hold of him. “It’s on a show-to-show basis. Theatres ask if I am available for the duration of show prep, and I’m either busy with another show, or I’m able to take the job. I could pass on the names of places who have worked with me if you need references.”

“We could handle that when we’re wrapping this up, I suppose. It’s been agreed that you should know what you’re actually getting into before anyone makes promises. You probably thought that the advertisement was calling for a rather strange request, right?”

William nodded. The ad had inquired into the logistics involved in establishing a collection of homes on a piece of land a few city blocks large. It had first been brought to his attention by a friend who had found it funny that someone had ‘put out a maths problem to hire a contractor’. From there, it had become a bit of a fun puzzle to juggle around in his head until his flatmate had bugged him into taking it seriously, if only so she could stop hearing about it.

“There was a reason why the request was so… odd. My… boss’ clients wanted someone that could take their requests and organize them all and make a game plan of sorts, but also have a good artistic vision so they wouldn’t need to consult with the clients for the minor details.”

“Understandable. Does this mean the title of “Domestic Coordinator” is more of a general term rather than an actual title? I hadn’t heard of such a job before. Sounded like I’d be planning a housewife’s day.”

Mr. Aspinall nodded. “Yes, it was more so to filter out those who might think that the job dealt with actual physical work. Would you be interested in taking on a large project? You’d be planning walls that are a bit more permanent, but my employer can get you the right names to get started or make projections. We wouldn’t be leaving you in the dark.”

“Can I ask for more specificity about the job? What would I actually be planning here?”

“Do you recognize my name?”

“No, sorry. I’ve never had a good head for names.”

“You will definitely recognize the name of my employer. Mr. Brian Epstein?”

William’s chest grew tight. “I most certainly do. Does that mean the actual clients are-”

“Yes,” Mr. Aspinall said. “Paul and George are actually old friends of mine from school.” He reached for the phone on his desk. “Now would actually be a good time to have him meet you.”

“Already?”

“If it’s alright with you?” After receiving a nod he put the phone to his ear. “Hold on a moment—-Yes, Brian? It’s Neil. It’s almost lunch but do you have time for the candidate for the Greece thing? Perfect, thank you. I’ll send him up in a minute.” He put the phone down on its reciever and turned back to William. “Anyways, you’ve come out as a very promising fit for erm, whatever this is. You’re the only one who isn’t working a typical work day, and might be able to change jobs like this. If it doesn’t work for you, that’s fine, but Brian’s the one with the best experience with the boys, so he’ll know if they’d like you.”

The young man nodded and gave himself a moment to process the last minute. “Greece?” He asked, in an attempt to quash the sudden wave of cold that passed over him at the thought of meeting the Beatles.

“You wouldn’t have to move to Greece, don’t worry. Maybe a few visits if things get serious, and we’ll see how things go as they go.”

William clicked his tongue. “Alright,” he said mock-casually. Because sure, this secret, probably insane job offer involved the Beatles and Greece and  _ he _ somehow fit the bill. At least he would know for sure if this was a laugh very soon.

Neil smirked. “Trust me, the closer you get to those four, the more you just start accepting these kind of things. Brian’s office is two floors up, first door with no window on your left.” He stood up and offered a hand to William. “Hope we get to see each other again.

He took it and smiled tightly, although probably not enough to be noticed. “Likewise, and thank you.”

William left the office and turned down the hall to the marked stairs. It would give him a good reason to seem a bit more out of breath than usual and perhaps a moment to mentally talk himself down from the prospect of working for the  _ Beatles oh Lord… _

By the time he’d reached the aforementioned office, he’d transitioned to taking deep, steadying breaths as he knocked. His other hand took off his unique sunglasses and stuffed them into his shirt pocket.

A muffled voice from behind the door said “Yes? Who sent you?”

Another quick breath in, and out. “Mr. Aspinall sent me. It’s about Greece.”

“Yes, do come in.”

William quickly put up a hand to sweep away the black fringe of hair from his forehead as best he could before stepping inside. “Hello, Mr. Epstein,” he said softly.

Brian Epstein’s eyebrows rose. “Hello, William. You answered the advertisement?”

“Yes, I’m as surprised as you are about all this.” William gave Brian a meek smile. “Since it is  _ you _ , I have a faint idea as to what this job is, but the pieces aren’t really making any sense. Is this a real thing?”

“It is. One of them, I think Paul suggested hiring someone new and with bright ideas and a better idea of what younger, artsier people want, hence the advert.”

“And I really am the best option? No offence to your screening process but… I can’t be much older than George, right?”

“Probably, but there are other advantages of hiring a new face. You’d have loyalty to just them. No selling out to the press. And obviously you can keep a secret.”

It was a loaded phrase and they both knew it. William straightened his back and looked Brian in the eye. “No one would get a peep out of me, Brian.”

“I’m well aware.”

“Can I have more details other than ‘Greek land management’ before I agree to anything?”

“The boys are looking for someone who can look into whatever technical issues there are for building properties and help make decisions on things like houses. At first it would probably be very general logistics like location and house layout. You would be the first level of research and contacting and then you could send whatever the boys greenlight off to someone else with experience. It’s just easier having a dedicated job rather than reassigning a PA because we’d have to go through the same screening process of traits anyways.”

“Planning for all four of them?”

“It would be all on one piece of land and quite honestly, the others will probably say ‘yes’ to anything two of them like.”

William put his sunglasses back on and restyled his hair in the reflection of a framed record. Not surprisingly, it was a Beatles single. “Who would I defer to as my superior?”

“Ultimately, the boys. Technically, myself or Neil, but there really is no precedent. If you want to talk to them yourself, then you can. If not. I’ll see if I can get you a secretary. We have Apple Corp as a very recent business to try and consolidate all of the Beatles’ stuff together, including personal projects and the like.”

“Could I meet them first before I say yes?”

“What’s your availability this week and next?” Brian flipped through a large schedule book. “There’s some studio time on Monday and Friday, and that’s really the only time all four are together. I can’t plan something out of the blue because they’ve been busy lately.”

William scoffed. “I know.  _ Sergeant Pepper’s _ is all anyone can talk about these days.”

“And what did you think about the album?”

“Is this the part where I kiss arse?” William grinned. “It is a great album. Nothing in the world like the Beatles.”

“I know,” Brian said, smiling fondly. “I’d be very happy if you signed on to this project. Truth be told, I’ve been feeling rather useless these days, just taking calls and sorting out all this business work.”

“What time is good for that Monday?” William asked. He didn’t know how to respond to that latter statement.

“They’re to be at the studio at seven, but Lord knows with those four what time things will actually start.”

“If you’ll introduce me I’ll go. You can present me properly.”

“I think you present yourself perfectly fine, William.”

He smiled. “Even so, I need someone to vouch for me so I don’t get thrown out. In case anyone asks, I worked at that theatre of yours.”

Brian nodded. “Yes, that can work. If you’d write your number here I can call you once I’ve got things sorted out better. I think that’s it, though. We didn’t need introductions, after all.”

William took a pen off the desk and jotted his number on that day’s square in the agenda. “There you go. Call if we don’t see each other before Monday. Enjoy your lunch.” He raised a hand in farewell before exiting the room.

Brian closed his agenda book and stowed it away before pulling out a package of paper from his box. Another set of forms about the animated movie. Brian sighed before flicking through the pages.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If only I could work on my finals as well as I am with this.
> 
> Anyways, here's William! Poor boy doesn't know what lies ahead. I really don't think the idea of hiring a stage manager as a property manager is a very safe idea, but the majority of Apple after Brian's death was founded on similar ideals, so whatever.
> 
> Time jumps will be a lot smaller. The 1964 snippet was mainly to show off the first island attempt (it didn't work out because the island they wanted wasn't available) and show how close the lads were at the time. Three years and a load of assorted drugs will change a band.


End file.
